Vice

Starring: Thomas Jane, Bruce Willis, Ambyr Childers

Kelly (Ambyr Childers) and her friend go out for a few drinks. Her friend gets shot and killed by a drunken jerk and Kelly gets strangled. She’s programmed to die every day as the fantasy of someone else in a make-believe world where robots are made of human flesh to relive the same day over and over again for the sadistic pleasure of others. Kelly and other robots belong to this group until one day, something goes wrong and she remembers every time she was murdered.

Roy (Thomas Jane) is a cop cleaning up after things go wrong, but he vies for the past when he was a “real” cop. Throughout the movie he chews either a lit match stick or a put-out joint, it’s hard to tell which one. A sucker, like Kojak would have at least given the audience something to talk about when the movie was over.

Julian Michaels (Bruce Willis) is in charge of the fictitious world where people are allowed to enter and kill for fun without consequences. The majority of the movie he stands in the center of the room watching about fifty televisions screens that indicate his paying customers.

The days of the original Robocop are back with a bunch of wannabe actors who couldn’t act their way off a merry-go-round. Spook alleys have better actors who aren’t paid nearly as well while this movie has a cop reciting poetry, “Run rabbit, run.” They all chase a single woman with machine guns and bazookas across the city sidewalks, coming nowhere near their target. Our country is doomed if this is a reflection of our defense.

Every time someone mentions Julian Michaels, “Jillian Michaels” pops into your head. What in the hell possessed Bruce Willis to take on the name of a female muscle head? Why, Bruce, why? And why have the monotone voice of Stephen Segal throughout the movie? Is this supposed to be callous and unfeeling? It comes off as someone reciting memorized lines. The director should be sent to this make-believe world with a target-indicating bracelet.

In the end Roy saunters away with his joint/match saying, “Welcome to the real world.” The normal public would run from the chaotic scene, however these calmly about in various directions. The Julian, we suspected as dead, suddenly opens his eyes as if promising another terrible movie. But you know you’ll have a lot more promise of a plot, and better acting, from a video game.

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